When it comes to living life, we would all love to be someone who seems to achieve greatness effortlessly. Jeez, we all know that person. They’re the ones who hit personal bests in the gym, crush their work goals, or seem to have an unshakable sense of purpose. But the truth is that none of that happens by accident. Behind every extraordinary result is a mountain of unseen effort.
Tony Robbins once said, “Repetition is the mother of skill.” And that quote reveals a profound reality that what you do in private, consistently and repeatedly, defines who you become in public.
Take a moment and ask yourself this quick question… What are you practising privately? In fact, what are you practising at all?
Here’s the hard truth—you’re always practising something. The question is whether you’re practising behaviours that build you up or those that hold you back. Are you practising the discipline of showing up, even when you don’t feel like it? Or are you rehearsing excuses, procrastination, or half-hearted efforts? A thought process worth considering.
Whenever you hit snooze on your alarm, skip a workout, or put off a meaningful task, you train yourself to choose comfort over growth. But every time you push through resistance, you strengthen your ability to thrive under pressure.
As a coach, I genuinely believe private habits matter and that the world only sees the tip of the iceberg. It’s the extra reps, the quiet mornings spent planning your day, or the late-night learning sessions that nobody claps for. These are the moments that determine your success—not the public recognition.
Champions aren’t made on the stage. They’re made in the lonely and quiet hours, and the same applies to you. Whether you’re working toward peak fitness, career success, or becoming a better parent or partner, the work you do when no one is watching makes all the difference.
There is a cost to inaction. The other side of this coin worth considering is that if you’re not intentionally practising growth, what habits are taking over by default?
Negativity? Doubt? A tendency to overthink instead of act?
Every action—or lack thereof—has a compound effect over time. Skipping one workout might not seem like a big deal, but if you are honest, it’s never just one. Each decision sets the tone for the next. The cost of inaction today could be the missed opportunity of tomorrow. You need to be careful about how you open an Overton window and its effect on your life.
If you have been around me long enough, you will know that one of the biggest things I am trying to reinforce to athletes is that it’s through practice that we can build and create greatness. In life, it’s our strengths that we should lean into when it comes to work and marketing ourselves. Still, for everything else—our physical, emotional and mental health—it is imperative to lean into our weaknesses and spend time there. That’s why it is vital to practise in the dark.
When you focus on improving areas where you feel vulnerable or uncertain, you’re not just addressing weaknesses but building resilience, adaptability, and a more profound sense of confidence. Actual growth happens in the dark moments of struggle and self-reflection.
So start to shift your focus because there is some excellent news. You have the power to redirect your habits, and that can begin now. Here are three steps to help you start practising excellence in private:
- Audit Your Current Habits
Take stock of what you’re consistently doing. Are your daily actions aligned with the person you want to become? Be brutally honest with yourself because reflection and evaluation are the first steps to success. - Set a Clear Vision
Decide who you want to be and what you want to achieve. When you’re clear about your destinations and purpose, aligning your private habits with your ultimate goals is more manageable and will more likely make you successful. - Start Small but Stay Consistent
Change doesn’t happen overnight but doesn’t need to be overwhelming. Commit to small, meaningful actions every day. Consistency beats intensity when building habits.
The payoff of private mastery is that something amazing happens when you commit to practising excellence in private. You don’t just improve your skills or results; you transform your identity and become closer to the person you truly wish to be. You can begin to see yourself as the kind of person who shows up, puts in the work, and refuses to settle for less than your best. When that transformation happens, the results speak for themselves. Suddenly, you’re not just hitting goals but setting new standards. People will ask you how you do it and assume you have some secret. But you’ll know the truth, that the secret is in the unseen hours, the quiet victories, and the habits you’ve been cultivating all along.
So, what are you practising in private? Because sooner or later, the world will see the answer. Start now. Become Extra-ordinary.