Most of you won’t know this, but over the years, I have found life very anxiety and depression-inducing. On the regular, I feel bouts of melancholy and frustration. Even to the point in the past, I’ve been known to get angry or upset at my wife, Madison, shouting how “sometimes it isn’t nice on this side of an antidepressant.” To the point that twice in my life, I’ve even asked myself if all of this—my work, my responsibilities, my ambitions—is worth it. I wondered whether the world might be better without me in it.
But those moments, as dark as they’ve been, have driven me to explore overcoming these challenges—years of reading, self-exploration and reflection. In turn, I have realised that my anger, upsetness and frustration are because things just aren’t going my way. I’m fixated on what I want and what I think I should have, and that fixation is what triggers my anxiety, depression, and stagnation. This caused me to realise that the truth is that our wants hold us back from appreciating our haves and cause us to be upset with where we are and our current situation.
You see, what I have come to realise is that when we become obsessed with what we lack or what we think will bring us happiness, we enter a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction. Maybe it is a particular lift at the gym, personal best, amount of money or material object, or – like in our business – people training at our gym or exercising in our community. We become upset, frustrated or anxious about what our future may look like. However, what we need to realise is that the way forward—the solution to these fleeting emotions —is found in action. It is found in what we do daily, in the present, and in finding joy in the process rather than being fixated on the outcome. This concept is not new; it echoes themes in Napoleon Hill’s An Interview with the Devil, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, and even the teachings of the Bible.
One of the books I read this year was Napoleon Hills ‘An Interview with the Devil’, where the author explores the idea that fear and doubt are tools the “devil” uses to control us. I’m still relatively green in terms of good versus evil, devil-influenced stuff, but in this book, it is announced that the devil thrives when we become fixated on what we don’t have. Hill writes, “Fear is the tool of a man-made devil. Self-confident faith in oneself is both the man-made weapon which defeats this devil and the man-made tool which builds a triumphant life.” By being consumed with our wants—whether it’s material possessions, success, or validation—we lose sight of what we do have and what we can create in the present. This fixation breeds fear! A fear of failure, fear of inadequacy, and fear that we’ll never measure up.
This fear quickly and easily leads to paralysis. Instead of acting, we stagnate and get caught in the endless loop of wanting more but doing nothing to achieve it. The devil, as Hill describes it, wants us to remain in this state of inaction and anxiety because it keeps us weak and malleable. Hill argues that the way out is through definiteness of purpose. A clear focus on what we can control and act upon in the here and now. The exact opposite of what the devil, or evil, would like to see us do in these situations.
In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert applies a similar lens to creativity and ideas. She explains that ideas are like living beings, seeking out people who will nurture and act on them. We neglect these ideas when we are consumed by fear – whether of rejection, failure, or imperfection. In turn, if we don’t act on this idea, they move on, finding someone else who is willing to act. Gilbert writes, “You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not your successes or failures.”
I genuinely love this book based solely on what Gilbert suggests is profound. That if we stop obsessing over the outcome (what you want) and focus on the joy and commitment of the process (what you do). Anxiety diminishes when we let go of our wants and pour energy into the present moment. This helps us nurture our creativity, work, and relationships. The act of doing grounds us and gives us purpose, whereas our act of expecting to receive or having expectations sets us up for failure. So, in return, if we just act and then ignore what we ‘want’ or ‘expect’ from the action, we are less likely to become sad, upset or depressed in the moments that follow.
This principle of focusing on action in the present is also deeply rooted in spiritual teachings. If you have been following along, you will know I have found a lot of connections between philosophy from the Stoics and those of the Socratic era and my chosen religious texts of the New Testament bible. In John 14:20, Jesus says, “On that day, you will realise that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” This verse speaks to the profound truth that we are already whole and connected to something greater than ourselves. There is no need to chase external validation or possessions because everything we need is already within us, and what we want will come in due course.
The “day” Jesus refers to can be understood as the moment we let go of our incessant wants and recognise the divine presence in our daily lives. It is the realisation that our purpose is not found in some far-off achievement but in the simple, meaningful actions we take today. Anxiety fades when we anchor ourselves in this truth, replaced by a sense of peace and alignment.
Ultimately, from all of this, if anxiety and depression are the results of focusing on what we lack, then the solution and resolution is to focus on what we do. Now, I am not saying that there can’t be other chemical, neurological or more extreme reasons for these kinds of mental health battles. But I am saying that small, deliberate actions taken in the present moment can create momentum. Momentum that I have found personally helpful in minimising the symptoms of melancholic, anxious and depressive emotions. This principle is reflected in the wisdom of Hill, Gilbert, and the Bible:
- Napoleon Hill teaches us to overcome fear, evil and inaction by committing purposeful action for good to triumph over evil.
- Elizabeth Gilbert reminds us to nurture our ideas and find joy in the process, not the outcome. This, in turn, lets our creativity flow and our critical thinking break new ground.
- John 14:20 reassures us that everything we need is already within us, just waiting for the time to come to present itself. That our day will come. Not because of inaction but because of action. That is the proper time will come when we will reap our harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9)
In Conclusion, when we shift our attention from our wants to our haves—what we are already doing, building, and creating—we unlock a more profound sense of fulfilment and can believe with patience. Anxiety is no match for a mind engaged in meaningful action. The next time you feel that frustration of anxiety or dissatisfaction, stop and ask yourself, “What am I doing right now?” Are you acting or trapped in the quicksand of your wants? Because I promise you, if you focus on action in the present and let go of what you expect to have happened already, you’ll find that the solution to anxiety isn’t out there! It’s in what you do, day by day, moment by moment, into year by year. Action in the present is not just the cure to anxiety; it is the key to living a life of peace, purpose, and meaning away from a life of disappointment and always wanting now.